13 Legs

Poor Leo.

Two weeks ago Leo started limping. This has immediately got us worried. The last time Leo limped  it required an operation to repair the cruciate of the left stifle that was fortunately covered by the insurance. Since then his leg has been excluded from any future insurance plans which would mean having to pay for it out of pocket which might be impractical - especially considering Leo's creeping age and the inevitable future complications.

An X-Ray of Leo's Bionic Leg from late 2010

So the first thought that crossed our minds when we saw Leo limping was the possibility of putting him down, right around the 3rd anniversary of losing our first Great Dane, Dexter's predecessor, Kato. 

It was not the most cheerful thought, but before we get to it, we'll need to go a few days before Leo started limping. If TV shows and movies can use the cheap trick of tedious flashbacks and flash-forwards to grasp the audience's attention, then so can I.

A FEW WEEKS AGO

Leo and Dexter have really settled in their new Winnipeg home. The family room downstairs has become the dog room where they spend a lot of the time napping. Blake also uses it to watch Mickey Mouse Clubhouse and even Miron and I occasionally insert ourselves for some quality Judge Judy viewing. One of the smaller rooms in the house, but when we are all together in it (Judge Judy included), also the funnest and happiest.

A new routine we introduced a few weeks ago is the Sunday outing for the dogs. After Blake's swimming lesson we'd go back home, stick the dogs in the back and drive them somewhere outside of town where they can run freely and stretch their legs. Even at the coldest weather it's doable as long as they are back in the car before they freeze solid into massive dogsicles. Dexter really needs those bursts of unrestrained sprints. The first time he ran so quickly and so far I thought we would never see him again. Fortunately he did come back to us after completing a lap around planet Earth. Dexter puts Leo to shame, but on his own Leo's fitness is very impressive for a 6 1/2 year old Great Dane with a bionic leg.

While there are two dog beds on the floor of the family room, Leo also enjoys lying on the sofa bed whenever he can. As a result it's very common to see Blake and Leo together on the sofa refining their cuddle techniques while watching Mickey Mouse Clubhouse.

Meanwhile Dexter is... Dexter.

Anyway, so then on Friday night two weeks ago Leo started limping and we got very worried. What could it be? Our biggest worry was that the same cruciate thing happened to his other hind leg. We were warned it may happen: after one leg has been operated on the healthy leg would be used more and be at increased risk. Then we realized that it can't be the same thing as Leo was limping on his bad leg that was already been operated on, not the healthy one. It was a medical mystery worthy of Doctor Gregory House.

Miron and I pooled together our veterinary medical knowledge in order to solve the mystery which resulted in not solving the mystery due to us having zero medical knowledge.

Blake has detected that his buddy was misreable and commenced unprompted to cuddle with him on the floor, a gesture that didn't go unappreciated.

Poor Leo peed on one of the beds which needed to be washed, so when Dexter cuddled with him they had to share one tiny bed between them.

There were many cuddles for the next week as we hoped to see improvement. I spent the first two nights in the family room to keep Leo company. We were afraid to go to the vet and get terrible news. Then each day Leo's leg got better and he started using it more and more. By Tuesday he was actually placing weight on it and his limp was barely noticeable. I had other worries on my mind, so it was such a relief to get rid of one. Leo was going to be OK after all!

Only he wasn't. The next day his leg was bad again - as bad as it ever was. 

The Doctor House type mystery evolved: it couldn't be a broken leg or even a fructure: these things don't heal so quickly only to happen all over again. I wondered if it was maybe the cold making the metal in his leg painful. There were a few very cold days the previous week. We decided to keep Leo's visits to the back yard super short and infrequent.

Last Friday night we had our first overnight guest in our Winnipeg home and we went with him to a dinner party with friends. When we came back home Leo made extreme efforts to go up with us to the bedroom. The next morning on Saturday Leo could not get up no matter how much I asked, begged and commanded him.

We decided to take him to the vet, if only to get him some pain killers. By the time we made the appointment and started discussing ways to bring him down to the car, Leo has gotten up and almost ran downstairs to pee as he was bursting.

Obviously we had to take everyone, including Dexter who refused to stay in the car once we got to the vet, so we all went in. Leo went with Miron to be X-rayed and examined while I waited in a small examination room with Dexter and Blake. There were no signs of broken bones or fractures, but some arthritis around his bad leg and plenty of swolen inflammation. When Leo returned to our room, he stumbled and fell flat on his belly. He considered for a second to try and get up, but then was all "f*** it, I meant to do that" and remained lying down. You see, Leo was on injected morphine and was slowly succumbing to sweet dreams about rainbows and unicorns.  

We got his antibiotics for the infection (for that is what it apparently was)  and pain killers and some human treatment for arthritis. When we got home it was a struggle to take Leo out of the car. He lay at the back and looked at me with big empty cow eyes. He was tripping in another dimension already. I wanted some of what he was having...

So now we wait, a bit worried, to see if he'll get back to using his leg. He is getting lots of rest and cuddles, as well as getting better at using only three legs, but I sure do hope it's not permanent, as I don't see him managing to survive like that for long and it certainly means no more Sunday runs in the prairie for the time being.

Poor Dexter has been quite confused and worried and also somewhat jealous at the extra attention his brother has been getting. So he's been cranking up the cute. Picture evidence:

Sir Fartalot in his library.

Gaining knowledge by sleeping on a book shelf.

Leo plays Rear Window

Mickey

One Million Morons : The Sequel

I bashed the idiots at One Million Moms two months ago, before it was cool. Now everyone is doing it thanks to their new campaign against JC Penny for hiring Ellen DeGeneres as their new spokeperson. I'm such a trend setter.

One Million Moms is an offshoot of American Family Association, an extreme right religious organization that attempts to promote their bigotry under the pretense of "family values". That's really all you need to know about them - and once you do why does anyone need to pay them any attention anymore?

Their efforts to get Ellen DeGeneres fired shouldn't get any headlines, just dismissed with a shrug because it is really such a non issue. Yet most news coverage of this incident refers to it as a "controversy". Where is the controversy? The fact that a gay woman was hired as a spokesperson or the fact that it annoyed the crap out of a group of ignorant lunatics?

Watch this CBS video to see the reactions of Ellen and the JC Penny CEO. Notice how every other word out of the interviewer's mouth is "controversy". Derpa-derp-derp-derpalooza.

Whatevs. Haters gonna hate, bigots gonna baguette. This "controversy" got me to revisit the One Million Moms website to see if it was still as ugly as I remembered it and I saw that one of their ongoing campaigns is against the show Modern Family. Well, obviously.

I thought I'd find them protesting the portrayal of two men who enjoy dirty and ungodly anal and oral sex with each other while raising a child in an obviously unfit environment. No, it gets better! They were protesting the subplot in which the couple's little toddler curses using the F word.

I KID YOU NOT, THEY REALLY ARE SUCH MORONS.

This kind of ridiculousness and ignorance is comforting. It's always good to know thy enemy and it's even better to know thy enemy is an absolute idiot.

Mickey

P.S

I'm more than happy to protest against Modern Family as long as we focus our attention where it matters: It used to be the funniest thing on TV, but now if I want to laugh while watching it I need to simultaneously browse funny pictures on my phone.

Story Time - Blake and the Balloons

Putting Blake to sleep used to involve singing. More often than not "Part of Your World" from Disney's The Little Mermaid and sometime Rebecca Black's Friday. And when I say singing I mean ME doing the singing.

I kid you not. I wish I was.

More often than not singing once wasn't enough and I had to sing three or four times.

So you can imagine how relieved I was when Blake was finally more into stories. I would sit with him in the dark and make up stories about him and the rest of the family using story elements I knew he was into at the moment. There was a lot of random crap, but every once in a while a favourite story was born and stuck around. Now there are three regular stories I occasionally switch between, but the golden classic is undoubtedly "Blake and the Balloons."

So I decided to record it on video in case I'll get hit by a bus or be crashed to death by a falling satellite. It's not really about me or the story, it's about Blake who makes it so much fun to tell him stories.

Love you, son!

Mickey

The Audacity of Promoting Equality

Something nice happened in Altona, Manitoba, a small town not too far from Winnipeg: two grade five teachers displayed a card pledging support for LGBT youth.

The cards read:

As an Ally, I envision a society that embraces, values and celebrates diverse sexual orientations, gender identities and gender expressions.

As an Ally, I support lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, Two-Spirit, intersex, queer and questioning individuals, families and communities.

As an Ally, I work towards a more aware, affirming, safe and open work environment in both policy and practice.

As an Ally, I acknowledge that creating a safe space is an unwavering process that requires productive commitment, re-assessment and dedication.

As an Ally, I am committed to the elimination of homophobia, biphobia, transphobia and heterosexism as well as other forms of oppression.

I participated a Rainbow Resource Centre LGBTT* Ally Training session and completed ___ hours of training in the year.

Awww, how sweet.

That's why I love Canada. At grade 5 I already knew I was gay, but it was a shameful secret burried so deep that I didn't even entertain the thought of ever making it known to anyone. I am so happy that today young gay people, at least in Canada, have it better than I did.

I wish that would be the end of the anecdote, but it turned out that numerous parents were offended by the cards and demanded their removal. They were partly successful as the cards are now hidden with the exception of the title.

“We have to sign hundreds of petitions to allow religious exercises in school,We should treat this situation in the same way, as it seems to be just as controversial.” Said parent Kim Peters Sawatzky.

I found Kim's Facebook page with quick Google-Fu and discovered she only likes one book. Guess which one. Hint number one: It's NOT A Brief History of Time by Stephen Hawking. Hint number two: It starts with a "B" and rhymes with libel.

So dear Kim, let me please explain to you why you are wrong.

The problem with teaching religion in school (other than the fact that all religions are man written fairy tales and there is no God) is that it's indoctrination. Not all the children in the classroom are Christians. Some belong to other religions or none at all. I am sure dear Kim wouldn't want her children to be taught Islam lessons. On the other hand it's perfectly fine to discuss different religions in class and teach children that anyone deserves respect and the freedom to practice whatever religion they want.

No one is trying to indoctrinate children to be gay. The only thing the card does is teach children to be open minded towards LGBT people and not discriminate against them. The thing is, unlike many countries including the USA, in Canada it's the law. Gay people have 100% equal rights, so any cards like the one mentioned should be considered a polite notice, not an actual request. We are way past that point. In Canada at least.

Kim Peters Sawatzky also said: “I would like to have the choice of how I choose to teach my children about these words and what they mean."

Translation: "I would like to have the choice of how I choose to teach my children that God hates gay people and that they are gross, derp."

Well, tough luck, lady. You might also want to teach your children that black people like decorating the walls of their homes with the intestines of giraffes, that Jews grind their own toenails and use the powder in most of their cuisine and that Muslims are actually demons wearing people-suits made out of latex. You can teach your children any type of nonsense you want, but you won't necessarily be doing them any favours. You certainly can't expect the system to bend backwards to accomodate your prejudiced, ignorant and bigoted "values". You can always relocate to a country that shares these "values" or maybe start your own colony in some far away rain forest. I can only hope that Kim's children, considering that they are growing up in Canada, will mature into more tolerant and accepting human beings.

Another parent, Rachael Friesen, pretty much nails it: "The kids are hearing some pretty crazy stuff on the playground and we have no control over that. All we can do is damage control, so I’m not understanding why a teacher can’t answer a question without everyone freaking out."

Regardless, we're moving in the right direction. Twenty years ago teachers educating children about LGTB rights would seem like science fiction. Since then Religion has been kicked out of the classroom and now teachers are actually trying to actively educate children to be accepting of LGBT people and the action is met with nothing more than feeble mixed reactions by parents.  The parents objecting are just remnants from darker times. In twenty years not only displaying these types of cards won't be a big deal, it's probably not even going to be really necessary. 

At least in Canada.

One can hope, anyway.

Mickey

14 Legs Worth of Love

Us with Justice James MacPherson at Osgoode Hall, Toronto

Today is our fourth wedding anniversary. It's more impressive when you take into account that gay-relationship years are like dog years and should be multiplied by seven. So it's like our twenty eighth anniversary. 

Actually, we've been together for almost fifteen years so in gay-years that's a hundred and five years which you must admit is quite spectacular.

Anyway, life isn't perfect and full of hardships, but getting married and starting a family was the best thing that ever happened to me. It doesn't matter where I go, I got my crew by my side. Starting life anew in a new country and new city without knowing anyone in advance would be much scarier if I really had to do it alone. But as things are, there are always five of us to keep each other company. Fourteen legs worth of love.

We had our surrogate and her husband at our wedding in Toronto, sitting at the family table. That was four months before Blake was born, so he was technically there with us at our wedding. We didn't prepare vows, so we decided to say a few words to our guests. My words turned into a spontaneous speech and you can totally see I'm winging it, but I'd like to think it's part of the charm. So I tell myself, anyway.

Happy anniversary, hubby!

Mickey

The Cynthia Nixon Experiment

I'm Gay! Now I'm not! Now I'm gay again and now I'm not!!! Yay!

To make a short story shorter: In a recent interview Cynthia Nixon pissed off gay fans when she made the infuriating statement that being gay is a choice. Money quotes:

"I gave a speech recently, an empowerment speech to a gay audience, and it included the line ‘I’ve been straight and I’ve been gay, and gay is better.’ And they tried to get me to change it, because they said it implies that homosexuality can be a choice. And for me, it is a choice. I understand that for many people it’s not, but for me it’s a choice, and you don’t get to define my gayness for me. A certain section of our community is very concerned that it not be seen as a choice, because if it’s a choice, then we could opt out. I say it doesn’t matter if we flew here or we swam here, it matters that we are here and we are one group and let us stop trying to make a litmus test for who is considered gay and who is not." 

And:

"Why can’t it be a choice? Why is that any less legitimate? It seems we’re just ceding this point to bigots who are demanding it, and I don’t think that they should define the terms of the debate. I also feel like people think I was walking around in a cloud and didn’t realize I was gay, which I find really offensive. I find it offensive to me, but I also find it offensive to all the men I’ve been out with."

I wish I could say that it made me lose respect for Nixon, but to be honest I never really liked her. I find Sex and the City to be the most abhorrent TV show ever created and any actor associated with this radioactive pile of crap is automatically ruined for me. The only time I remember enjoying a performance by Cynthia Nixon was when she played a stroke victim on ER. Not sure if I enjoyed it because it was a good episode or because I just liked seeing that bitch from Sex and the City getting a stroke. We will never know.

Fond Memories from the ER episode

I think Nixon's statement is offensive because it feeds the lie that being gay is a choice. It is also offensive because it is a complete crock of poop. One does not simply choose to be gay.

Nixon is offended by people saying that she was gay even back when she was dating men. Not only that, it is offensive to "all the men she's been out with". The way she says it she makes all those men sound like a sizeable demographic. I am sure finding out the chick you banged turned out to be a lesbian is a huge blow to the ego. An insecure man might even think that he was so bad in bed that he actually turned her gay. I can see why good ol' Chyntia is concerned and offended.

Lets get this straight (giggles): one can't choose to be gay. I call bullshit on that. One can't choose which ice cream flavour is their favourite. I love chocolate more than strawberry. I might force myself to eat strawberry ice cream instead of chocolate, but I can't make myself enjoy it more. It just does not work like that. I do not believe for a second that Nixon used to be sexually attracted to men, but not women, but then made the choice to just switch over and be attracted to women, but not to men.

BUT! Just so I won't come across as prejudiced against washed up actresses from terribly obnoxious TV shows, I should conduct the Cynthia Nixon experiment and choose to be straight. I will conduct the experiment right now while writing this blog post.

I, Mickey Blumental, decide to be straight now. I am no longer attracted to men. I am now attracted to women.

I'll take a break for five minutes to let it sink in.

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OK, I'm back. It didn't work. I still see boobies as butt cheeks that were ruined by having nipples on them. Sorry, mom.

Cynthia Nixon, you are a moron.

No, more than that. You are an attention seeking moron. I bet you knew this unique and bizarre claim will get you some much desired attention. Who cares if you're giving ammunition to religious nuts and homophobes. There are many "gay therapy" groups where gay men are brainwashed to think they can stop being gay with disastrous results and this sort of publicity stunt just fuels that fetid phenomenon.

Regardless, we have freedom of speech and Cynthia Nixon is allowed to talk nonsense and to lie to herself and everyone else. She can also be offended by people who say she is lying.

OR! She can choose not to be offended.

I mean, if she can choose her sexual orientation, surely choosing not to be offended should be a walk in the park.

Mickey

Winterpeg Photo Dump

I am not focused enough to write about anything in particular so I am simply going to cheat by using my utterly adorable trio of cuteness with a photo dump.

Self portrait.

Crappy photo, but shows the rec room at a rare moment of tidiness.

It takes Blake one minute to turn the rec room into this.

This is what Leo does 90% of the time.

Another self portrait.

After being eaten alive a few times Dexter now knows his place.

And he likes it.

Blake is puzzled by my fascination with him eating.

Quality time.

Blake notices the camera, time to pose!

Or is it time to nose?

Both.

Blake loves Leo.

And Leo loves Blake.

And more self portraits!

Took the dogs out to a field to stretch their legs.

They really really needed that...

So it the weather isn't -100c we'll try doing it every week.

A hat would be nice...

Manitoba? More like Flatitoba.

Ready for school!

OK, Now I'm Really Angry.

I met my friend Mark through blogging. We discovered each other's blogs as we both wrote mostly about our gay parented families. We never met in real life, but we had some very nice e-mail exchanges and discussions. What I liked about Mark and his family was that, just like with my family, the "gayness" of the family was never an issue. If you read through Mark's blog (and you should) you will find many exciting anecdotes that cover all areas of life (as well as phenomenal photos). Some are hilarious, some are thrilling and some heartbreaking. You would be forgiven if you forget this is a gay parented family. It's just two people who happen to be in love with each other and with their beautiful children who happen to be two guys. The gay aspect practically never comes up.

Until now. Thanks to DOMA (Defense of Marriage Act), Fred, Mark's partner of twenty one years is going to be deported in September despite the fact that they have adopted together four children. This DOMA act was signed by Bill Clinton whose ideas about defending marriage include sticking his Weiner in the mouth of an intern.

To make it worse, the main force behind marriage discrimination for gay people are religious people who are hurting real people by trying to protect morality laws taken from a fictional ancient book. Because if there is a God, I am sure what he wants is to see four children to lose either one of their loving parents or the country they were born in and call home.

This post isn't very organic to write because I am so angry writing it.

We were lucky. We lived in the UK so there was no problem for gay people there, at least not by the time I moved there.

So we got to stay together. We later got married "properly" in Canada just before our son was born and we are now living in Winnipeg, Canada where people care about your sexual orientation about as much as they care about the colour of your eyes.

Like I said, we were very lucky.

After the move to Winnipeg I was a bit disappointed in at least one aspect. I was under the impression that Canada is close in prices to the US, but in practice it's significantly more expensive in many areas to the point that people will drive south for several hours to the border with the US for shopping.

Now that I read about Mark and Fred's deportation threat it puts things in perspective. I would rather pay more for my cellphone plan and television, but have full equal rights as a married gay parent without any small letters, ifs or buts. There really is no price for freedom. I appreciate and support those who decide to dig their feet in the ground and fight for equality rather than just go elsewhere, as I am really not sure I could do that.

A while ago in an Interview Barack Obama has been asked about gay marriage to which he replied "I'm still working on it."

Well, Mr. Obama. Pull your finger out and do something about it after nearly an entire term. This is outrageous discrimination and if the first minority president is not going to do anything about it, who will?

To quote Mark from the CNN article: 

"I will no longer ride in the back of the bus. I am tired of waiting for people to give me rights."

You could say that again. In fact, I suspect you might have to.

Give them hell, Mark!

Mickey

I finally get an excuse to steal-post great photos of adorable children from Mark's blog.

Break!

I hope that the holiday season hibernation is coming to an end.

I was constantly aware that I wasn't writing in my blog, but I couldn't force myself to post stuff just for the sake of it.

Am I back? Maybe. Does anybody care? Maybe, though how many anybodies is a different matter.

The holiday break was fun and we got to celebrate both Christmas and Hanuka in our new humble abode. The benefit of being an atheist. Do Muslims have any fun holidays I can steal? 

It was really nice to be here just the five of us, catching cabin fever together as we snuggle indoors while it's snowing outside. Our first Winnipeg Christmas. With that said, we were disappointed by the lack of harsh weather. Damn you, global warming!

So I hope you (whoever you are) had a great break too and that 2012 will be great or at least not super extra crap. Wow, I'm quite the wordsmith. I should copy-write greeting cards.

I had to assemble Blake's train-set table in the middle of the night because he refused to go to bed at a normal time and to make it even better I didn't even get credit for it. You see, it was from "Santa". Pffft. That lazy fat bum.

Mickey